Sunday, May 18, 2014

Lately I find myself very less motivated and eating a lot more chocolate. I could find 5000 excuses why; it's my thyroid, I'm tired, I don't get enough cholocate (big lie), I worked out today, etc. etc. Really I just need to get it under control! Reading my blog today made me realize how far we have come as a family. I've always hated this thing, but today, it was really fun to read. We've actually gone to a restaurant recently with the kids and enjoyed ourselves. It made me feel really thankful. It made me see outside of myself a little bit more today. Life is not now, nor will it ever be, perfect. I am happy with that idea, but I shouldn't get too comfortable with it I think. I think it's good to be striving for something a little better.
   I've started a poetry journal recently. It's kind of embarrassing, I'm not gonna lie. I hate sharing my internal thoughts with others, it makes me SOOOO uncomfortable. It's What if they think it's dumb? I really just need to throw the dang thing at people and force them to read it because maybe just then I'll let go a little bit. It's fun to feel inspired to write, I'm hoping something useful actually comes out of my brain and onto the paper. Then maybe I can add some chords on the piano behind it, and maybe, just maybe, someday I'll be brave enough to share it with someone. I'm such a chicken I swear. That's my most recent hurdle: killing the chicken inside. Taking risks. It's getting easier. I'm doing it a little at a time and it feels good.