Sunday, March 3, 2013

Silver Linings is my life. Without the romanticism.

It's funny how really anyone on the internet could stumble upon this and read it, but I cringe at the thought of anyone I actually know every reading it, especially my family. Jackson has snuck a peek, Kyle tried to, but my lightning fast safari-hiding skills beat him to the punch. 
    I love Reagan Serr. Someday when I am old and grey I will probably forget who she is, but for now she is my sanity. She is the one escape from my children and she makes A LOT of money from me on a monthly basis. She's worth every penny I pay her. She lets Kyle and I actually go out and be adults while she puts up with our kids. See we don't have that family support system (at least as far as babysitting goes) like everyone else in Utah does. Our families are to busy with their own trials and struggles in life so we just turn to Reagan. She's great, thanks Reagan. So we went to see Silver Linings Playbook last night. I try to ignore previews and reviews and commercials about movies I really want to see because if the previews give away too much I end up being disappointed. I had heard a lot about this movie but tried hard to forget most of it and successfully I did! It reminded me very quickly though, it was a movie about mental illness. And just as quickly I realized how much this movie scared me, because I saw my son in adult form. Beautiful Bradley Cooper adult form. Ahhh, yes Bradley Cooper is a beautiful man and my Ethan is a beautiful little boy. Thank heavens Ethan is so pretty because he is out of control. It was very scary to see those qualities paralleled on the screen, it brought me to tears several times. It was also very honest about how the community responded to Bradley's character, which was harshly. The neighbors stared and gawked and stayed away. We already experience that, I can't even imagine what it will be like when Ethan is an adult and he's able to put up an adult kind of fight. I can still ALMOST out-muscle him, but not for long. 
   The father role (Robert DeNiro) also remind me of my life. Kyle's a little crazy. Not to the extent of that character and probably in a little bit of a different way. It was hard to watch at times. If the movie would have had an unhappy ending that would have been it for me, I would have lost it. Thankfully it was romantic and happy and we both left happy. I could only dream of a romantically happy ending to our situation, I don't know if it will ever come. Right now we are stuck in the trenches and it isn't easy. I wish people WANTED to be our friends instead of pitying us. No one wants to be pitied. So if you want to see what my life will be like in 30 years just watch that movie. It will give you a glimpse into what it is right now. 

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